I'm listening to "Wake Up" by Coheed a Cambria. It reminds me of a couple different people. It's a really pretty and sad song.. These last few days have been indescribable. Camping for the last week was great. I'm really thankful to have gotten away from highspeed, drama filled life. I loved just being able to sit around a campfire and talk about nothing in particular.   I made a to-do list for this summer and it seems as though very little of it is actually getting done so tonight or tomorrow I'm planning it all out. I feel like I'm changing a lot lately.. I always feel like I'm changing.. I'm working on being a better person and being more friendly and outgoing, I'm really getting into a lot of DIY stuff, I'm trying to broaden my interests and overall just the person I am. I want this for myself and I feel it'll really help in the future.

 Next year I'd like to start a unique sort of art club. It's going to have painting and drawing, but it'll also have makeup art and theatre arts and musical arts and any other sort of art you'd like. I've already lined up some guest speakers and near the end of the year, whatever art made in the club, whatever medium, will be put on in an art show in a gallery in downtown antioch. I want people to be able to express themselves however they want and be able to learn new ways to do so too. I've been doing quite a bit of research myself and think that it'll turn out to be something really cool.

 I can't believe we're going to be seniors.. I can't wait n_n

I do care and it doesn't sound dumb to me. I miss being best friends and I'd love to have that back.
I know it'll take time, but I'm willing to wait for your friendship :]

Good morning
Joe and I hung out yesterday.. and just as my dream predicted.. we cant see eachother again. My dreams are telling me to basically say "I hurt you once and yet, you continue to hurt me" but I care too much about him to do so. So basically, I have no idea where that'll go.

At any rate, 3 days til camping and I couldn't be happier to get out of here; ESPECIALLY for a week or more.  Like I said, basically NO contact from the outside world when that happens. I've got some employment drama that should be all cleared a little after I get back from camping, which is great and I've been painting a lot more.

Something I've noticed.. I haven't painted this much.. almost ever.. it makes me really happy and I'd love to persue it..

There's your update
Adios n_n

So, just read about the new girl. It stung, but I actually think I'm gonna be okay, which is.. odd. Guess that means: I really do want you to be happy, I'm growing up, and I'm really happy in my relationship :]

Leaving for camping in a week in a half or so I believe. I REALLY miss it. I think Spence's mom said we're going for 9 days this time. Good; the longer I'm away, the better. During that time I'll have pretty much no phone reception and probably wont' even carry it with me anyways.

Last night I helped work on the Alladin set, and my hands are still covered in black paint lol.
Think I'll go job hunting today
n_n

Later

So I'm feeling a little better than last night. I really need to learn what TO read and what NOT to read about certain details of certain peoples lives. At any rate, I'm DYING to go camping. For serious. I want to work at Uno's but I have a feeling I might have to keep looking or work at Go-Go's again or something. It's only the first day of summer and I already want out of here.

I vow to make this vacation as adventurous and new as possible. Hope it all works out.

Volunteering at the Nick Rodriguez at 4, can't wait to see my baby n_n

later

So, today was my last day of Junior year. Spence thinks it's bitter-sweet, I think it just rocks. There's really not much this year that won't be twice as amazing next year. No more math or DANCE! Today was fun though, I must admit. I liked ditching every class and meeting up with Spence. Apparently there was a riot during school, so we were dismissed early due to crowd control. Not quite sure how that all works out, but hey..    

We went to Uno's afterschool, as is tradition, but Spence wasn't feeling very well. Afterwards, I went home, changed, did my hair and makeup, and went back to Uno's to talk to the assistant manager and turn in my application. I'd say that went pretty well- short, but well. Then I went over to Spencer's house where I helped cook dinner and had a nice long chat with his mom. Eventually I went upstairs where Spence was just waking up and found that my baby had a temp of 100.5 :[  we gave him lots of meds and cooled his temp to 99.6 :D   

School is out and summer's finally here. I made a to-do list of everything I wanted to accomplish this summer. I'm really excited about it and I'm REALLY going to try to make it a point to fulfil it as much as posiible.
Hope everyone has a really fantastic summer :DD

So, this is the first time I've really been on here in months. I just read What Joe had to say about our relationship and it through me a little off balance. Everyone has their own ways of dealing with pain and obviously ours are not the same. We're heading our separate ways and that's all I've got to say about that situation, no point in trying to persuade you on one thing or another. But I do wish Joe lots of love and happiness, he deserves it and whoever he moves on to is very lucky.

On a happier note, Spencer and I are happy together :] we're starting this thing where one of us plans a date, and then the other, and we keep switching back and forth. They're really cute and sweet. The weekend before our 1 month he took me on a cute little picnic he put together and last weekend we went and saw "Up" and tried that restaurant called "Kings".

He really understands me and we're similar in a million and one ways. He makes me laugh and smile and he listens to me. He's fun to talk to and be with and we share a lot of the same dreams. I'm really happy and I really hope it works out.

Hope everyone had a good Christmas, I know I did. I got a guinea pig [instead of a hamster] and I think I like it better than I would anyways :] I like buying things for people. I love making people smile and knowing that I know them well enough to get them the perfect gift. I don't mind spending money. I don't much care for money anyways.. never really have.

I've been a little confused about life in general lately. Between doublestandard words and freakishly annoying repetive dreams, I really dont know whats going on anymore.

Today I've gotta buy quite a few things for Yuki, my guinea piggy :]. Including: piggy shampoo, igloo, some climbing stuff, treats, brush, bedding, and whatever else I find piggy might want or need :] She's got a vet appt the 31st to make sure she's happy [and not pregnant]. I also need to find a way to clip her nails, they're getting SUPER long and that can be unhealthy.

Got to see daddy Wednesday, that was really cool :] he brought Becky and my puppies. I've really missed them, but ESPECIALLY my dad.. I wrote him and Becky[my stepmom] a card/ letter saying I wished they were in my life more. They didnt read it while I was there though.

Went to Joe's yesterday afternoon. We just hung out and what not til dinner. Dinner was HECKA good. His dad's a really good chef. After dinner we watched Cars and I fell asleep hardcore hahha. I pretty much didnt wake up til 10:45. I then stole the blanket i slept with there and am currently wrapped in it still :]

I had 2 yogurts and a piece of cake this morning.
Breakfast of Champions :]

 

If I think of anything else to write in this entry, I'll keep you posted. :]

I'm fucking sick to my stomach
now and ALL the time.


PLEASE just fucking end.
please. please. please. please. please.

Hello world. It's Wednesday.. yes wednesday, halfway through my school week. I've just got home and have covered my neck in a thick layer of ivory. Vampires are not clean with their pray. I've taken part in that sole act you sheeple seem to define as "living". Using resources as lies, greed, anger, you name it.  Who knows what rabbit hole its gotten me into thus far? Ah wait, I know..

With this precarious lifestyle I've managed to have found good and bad. I've found what "friend's" true colors are in times of adversity. I've found that complete strangers can have a confounding affect on you. I've found the person I've been looking for these last few years and I'm not quite sure how to react.

On the one hand, I know what makes me happy and I've been taking advantage. I'm taking risks and standing my ground. I've got this newfound inhuman confidence.. the impact is profound.

And yet, theres that other side that can't let go of old demons.. habits are hard to break; bones [and hearts] are easy.

Please carry on with your daily lives. I've no business distracting you further.

Hello livejournal.
today is joe & my 9 months.
no one listens to me
I had a bad day.






&I am hurting.

..that is all.

Im at my boyfriends house
pokemon party
n64.


My friends...frighten me.
you don't want to know.


people at work are yelling at me..
>:|

kaitlyn is angry.
all the time.


i got my nose pierced the other day.

i have no idea if i ever mentioned i got a job?
but it was back in may.


i want a hamster.


my mom said i could dye my hair black and pink
and i want extensions.




should be interesting.

are alright. :] i have the most amazing boyfriend on the face of the earth. [we're getting married.. he just doesnt know it yet]. school has been so stressful. people are so happy, "6 days left of schooolll!!!" [then finals]. im just like... fuck.. 6 days.. 6 days left of friends [all my friends are seniors].. 6 days left of seeing my boyfriend everyday.. 6 days left of class then FINALS. whos bright idea was it to make those? they can either make you or BREAK you.. i have a feeling that by the end of the school year, im going to be very broken.. Speaking of school, i SHOULD be doing my math homework.. havent done it the entire month and its ALL due tomorrow. =/ I'm doomed.

getting her priorities in order. :]